Loser Goes To A Movie Premiere- Conclusion

Scene: After the movie and intermission, Basehead and I claim a set of seats near the front of the room for the Q & A with Tucker. While sitting there, Bill walks up through our side aisle. He glances down, notices me and stops, offering a handshake. This normally wouldn't seem like a big deal to most people, but to me, it made my night. Not only did I get to spend some time talking to the guy before the movie, but he was nice enough to take time to once again recognize my existence. I turn and smile proudly at Basehead, who for his part, looks suprised and confused.

Scene: Tucker and company are introduced. They spend about half an hour answering questions about the movie, the book, and insulting just about everyone that asks anything. (Note: If you have never read Tuckers storys, he openly promotes himself as a narcissist and asshole. So this is kinda like giving everyone what they want anyway)

Scene: The best line of the night comes when Tucker talks about the bridesmaids. After answering a question about them, he then goes on to say "Also, I fucked three out of those five bridesgrooms." Predictably, everyone there cracks up. He realizes his mistake and goes "Fuck you! Bridesmaids! If any of you people say this happened, I'll call you all liars!"

Scene: Q & A is over, and the line forms for pictures and autographs with Tucker, Nils, and Kari. Being near the front, Basehead and I find ourselves near the front with not long to wait.

Scene: Bill is back. With the camera man. Asking about the movie. He is maybe three people away.

Scene: Basehead, distracted with a handful of shit, somehow drops his mug from the swag bag. It lands on the girls foot in front of us. Thankfully, she isnt hurt, or pissed.

Scene: Basehead picks his stuff up, and upon returning to eye level, finds himself staring right into the face of the camera lens. (He later tells me dropping the glass completely fucked him up, with the TKO coming at the first sight of Bill and the Cam man. He also noted that while glancing over my way, he sees my literally light up at seeing Bill. He is right. At this point, I was no longer in pieces, but actually looking forward to talking to Bill one last minute.)

Bill: Oh hey, its you guys!
Me: Look Bill, I already told you I'm not squealing like a fucking pig.
Bill: Aw man, you still upset about that?
Me: Yes. It hurt my feelings and makes me uneasy.
*reaching out, he grabs one of my shoulders and starts squeezing*
Bill: Well, you are pretty tense.
Me: Ah shit that feels good...

*By the way, I have no clue why our interactions kept winding up with hints of homoeroticism sprinkled throughout, but I didnt care. Loser was in the limelight, and was suprisingly happy.*

Bill then concludes by asking us our thoughts on the movie. He looks at Basehead first. Basehead is staring back like a deer in the headlights.

Basehead: Uh......Fuck the Hangover!
Me: Yeah, this movie was better.

There was a little more brief talk, and we were once again thanked for our time. We are now at the table with Tucker. We get our posters signed by Nils, Kari and Tucker, and I also get my book signed by him as well. I then get a picture taken with Tucker, and before I know it, the flash goes off and he is on to the next person. It kind of sucked because there were a million different things I'd originally intended on telling or asking him when I got up there, but I sort of wound up star struck again. The only words exchanged were "good to meet you", but whatever, there was a huge line and I got everything I could reasonably want anyway.


Photo with Tucker.





All said and done, my only regrets about the premiere was that none of my video footage with Bill made it on the tour website. In fairness though, they shot hours of film and only uploaded about a minute and a half total so I can't feel too discriminated against. But damn would I kill to see that. Oh, and I really wish my glasses werent so nerdy and bent looking in that picture. I need contacts. Oh well. If nothing else, this is just another rare example of how every loser has his day.